Ponder.
Wednesday, March 16, 201610:59 AM
After practically 4 months of not utilising my brain, my writing skills have become so rusty. My mind works at a snail pace with it still remaining in hibernation mode. However, lots of things are prompting me to update this blog as some sort of release due to the pressure of contemplating my future plans and chastising myself over my subpar SPM results (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZ). CRIES. I don't even know where to begin.
Right, maybe it isn't below par, albeit by Sri Aman's standard it'd be considered mediocre, which falls below my expectations anyway.
I'm not going to divulge how exactly I fared in SPM to you lot, what I'd disclose is that it's disappointing enough for me to cry over for a good hour but not as bad as to take me into the depth of depression. Upon receiving my result slip, I was terrified as to how my parents would react, but to my pleasant surprise they took it fairly well. They even cracked jokes about it - whether or not that was a mere consolation for me, to ease my distress and whatnot, I was grateful. Grateful that I have a "chill", easygoing, imperturbable and accepting family who never coerce me into doing anything I'm reluctant to do. They told me they'd support me in anything I'm going to pursue. I'm thankful for the leeway that they provide me with.
Also, to my mates who commiserated with me that night (Dini, Nurin, Syaqs, Ali (Minhoe), Farhana, Shaz, Hafizah, Durrah, Debot, Maisarah, EVERYONE), thank you. You lot are way above my level and have a bright future. And to my beloved, pesky juniors (Amirah Tae, Suraya, Nikki), I feel like I'm in no position to give you any pieces of advice but whatever you do please do not turn out to be like me. Best of luck. *cackles*
Now I've got less than a month to ponder on the next 30 years of my life. Bloody hell.
Let's jump onto some less stress-inducing matters.
I've just started taking driving lessons at Metro Driving Academy not far from where I live. Initially I was inexplicably excited about it all lel. I reckon it wasn't only because of my fixation on the art of driving (it is art) but also because of the sense of responsibility the action of actually being behind the wheel gives you. I was also ecstatic over the prospect of being more self-reliant in travelling from places to places without my father having to chauffeur me around anymore. I thought this serves as a new notch in the belt of adulthood...................but I'm taking AUTOMATIC licence which means I'm not able to ever drive cars with a manual transmission.................which is utterly embarrassing and hurting my pride as an F1 fan ㅋㅋㅋ. Definitely not something that I'm proud of so I won't bandy it around and I hope nobody asks me again after this revelation. Please, I really am embarrassed. But then again who the hell drives stick anymore pffft.
Earlier this year in January I went to Singapore with the rest of my Happiness Delight squad to attend EXO's concert (!!!!!!!). I was excited and really thankful for being able to see them after having only joined the fandom recently, a little over a year ago. Initially my bias, Yixing's (Lay) attendance was provisional, there wasn't any confirmation whether or not he was indeed joining the rest of the EXO members for The Exo'luxion in Singapore. Such speculation even arose because for most of 2015, Yixing had been heavily preoccupied with his own activities in China — Go Fighting recording, a plethora of film and drama shootings, et cetera. Airports were the only places he frequented so he basically lived on planes — which caused him to miss out on shitloads of group activities, which consequently drew a lot of hatred and criticisms towards him.
Sigh, I don't blame his antis for being so disapproving of him mostly being an absentee member of one of the biggest Kpop boy bands currently, but I think as the only, lone, solitary Chinese member left (the other 3 had gone gerak lu, jangan roger), he deserves to carve his own name and be his own successful person in the entertainment industry. Not that he doesn't promote and sell EXO's name whilst he's in China, not that he doesn't reiterate that he isn't going to forsake the group for his own benefit and interest every time rumours thereof surface. Fans just need to put more trust in him. Have some empathy towards him; he's been working himself tirelessly half to death (almost literally) only to be met with hurtful reception. Xingmis have been tolerant enough all this time and now it's getting annoying. I've tried to turn a deaf ear on this matter but it hurts. It simply hurts.
They gave a stellar performance. Dancing, vocals, showmanship. A+. Heh sorry for the low quality photos. I wish I had the flair for photography.
Hang on, where was I? Hahahahah really diverted from my original path, sorry.
ANYWAY, Yixing came!!!!!!!!!!
I tried giving my attention to every single member and believe me I did, albeit with so much goings-on on stage it was difficult to keep up. God, they were all ethereal and even more beautiful in the flesh.
However, naturally my eyes were transfixed on Yixing for most of the duration of the concert. I observed him, rapt. His dance moves were SO sharp, he was so light on his feet. He never failed to showcase a brilliant spectacle, particularly during the performance for the song "Playboy". The way he popped, stretched, gyrated his body, completely in control of his movements and not once lackadaisical. That, coupled with the dulcet tone in his voice when he sings... He even teared up while singing his parts in the Chinese version of Miracles in December. Mesmerising. He was very charismatic.
But then he reverted to being Yixing, an utter sweetheart, the little sheep, the high unicorn, the healing angel (I'm not being mushy, those really are his nicknames ㅋㅋ). The sincerity in his eyes was palpable when he was interacting with the audience. He would look longingly at all fans before him, as if taking a picture of all of us and saving every detail so as to look back at it later in hard times to rejuvenate himself. Also, I swear I'm not exaggerating, but Yixing literally bowed, folding his body 90° for at least 3 seconds at every fan that held up his fanboard. This action was inconspicuous, it escaped many fans' notice and God I wished everyone else saw it too, I know I did and I was so overwhelmed with emotions I burst into tears. Yixing was beautiful.
So were all the other members. I didn't neglect them. Suho was handsome, the one in charge of speaking English lol he was embarrassing but we wouldn't have him any other way. Kai was art, or at least a projection of an artist's mind — his body moved languidly, his face an exquisite sculpture. Sehun had such a presence to him, his skin milky white and he seemed to have a scent akin to that of milk as well (AHAHAHA idek). Chanyeol was........lanky. And handsome, so so handsome. Baekhyun was a loudly barking puppy who was shaking off its fur after braving the rain. DO was the same old DO, someone your mother would approve of. Chen was vivacious and spunky and effervescent and he deserved all the love in the world. Lastly, Xiumin was so oppa. Really.
EXO is beautiful. Here are some pictures.
Yuck. Apologies. I tend to romanticise the things I love.
I shall return to my dreary life and ponder on it. Enjoy your day.
lovelovelove,
-A-
